Blog
|
|
comments (0)
|
November 13, 2008
BATH Day. I HATE Bath Day.
I get my nose washed and my toenails clipped, but Bath Day means that I have to stay in the bathroom and be away from Mama.
I tried to tell RarRar that this simply wasn't a convenient day. Something is quite wrong with Mama as she has been leaking water from her eyes and making upsetting noises.
I have tried giving her a bath over every square inch of exposed skin, thinking that would be calming, but she continues to leak water. Something about war and Brother and Eye Rack.
Maybe she got new eyes from an Eye Rack and that's why these are leaking. Maybe Brother got them for her. I don't know, but it has me upset and I don't like it.
BATH Day. I HATE Bath Day.
I get my nose washed and my toenails clipped, but Bath Day means that I have to stay in the bathroom and be away from Mama.
I tried to tell RarRar that this simply wasn't a convenient day. Something is quite wrong with Mama as she has been leaking water from her eyes and making upsetting noises.
I have tried giving her a bath over every square inch of exposed skin, thinking that would be calming, but she continues to leak water. Something about war and Brother and Eye Rack.
Maybe she got new eyes from an Eye Rack and that's why these are leaking. Maybe Brother got them for her. I don't know, but it has me upset and I don't like it.
Toe Game Boy
|
|
comments (0)
|
August 24, 2008
Toe Game Boy is back from Japan, but he is changed. He used to have hair shorter than a Chinese crested. Now he is nearly a Lhasa apso.
Toe Game Boy pays attention to me, MeiMei, of course. He gives me pats and tummy rubs, but no Toe Game. And he's been home three whole weeks!
He should be returning to the home of the Japanese Chin very soon. I know this because Mama already has begun watering her face in anticipation of his leaving.
Something isn't right. I just can't put my paw on it.
Hmmmmm.
Maybe....maybe it's the hair. Perhaps it is like in the story of Samson and Delilah. Toe Game Boy is not the son of Sam, but he is the brother of Sam. That's close enough.
Tonight I shall take Mama's sewing scissors to his hair and tomorrow we shall see if we have Toe Game.
Toe Game Boy is back from Japan, but he is changed. He used to have hair shorter than a Chinese crested. Now he is nearly a Lhasa apso.
Toe Game Boy pays attention to me, MeiMei, of course. He gives me pats and tummy rubs, but no Toe Game. And he's been home three whole weeks!
He should be returning to the home of the Japanese Chin very soon. I know this because Mama already has begun watering her face in anticipation of his leaving.
Something isn't right. I just can't put my paw on it.
Hmmmmm.
Maybe....maybe it's the hair. Perhaps it is like in the story of Samson and Delilah. Toe Game Boy is not the son of Sam, but he is the brother of Sam. That's close enough.
Tonight I shall take Mama's sewing scissors to his hair and tomorrow we shall see if we have Toe Game.
I think I have an ulcer....
|
|
comments (0)
|
May 12, 2008
RarRar took me to see Doc today and I have an ulcer.
It's incredibly painful and way worse than you can imagine.
It's on my eye. Sniff, sniff.
It hurts and Mama won't let me rub it.
But at least I get cheese....it might have medicine in it, but it's cheese.
RarRar took me to see Doc today and I have an ulcer.
It's incredibly painful and way worse than you can imagine.
It's on my eye. Sniff, sniff.
It hurts and Mama won't let me rub it.
But at least I get cheese....it might have medicine in it, but it's cheese.
Something Is Rotten In Denmark
|
|
comments (3)
|
April 2, 2008....Something is up.
Mama is crying all the time, but she's hiding crying. Whenever the Toe Game Boy comes in, she sucks it up and tries to act normal. But if Rar Rar or Daddy or Boy come in, she'll still cry.
Something is Rotten In Denmark.
Toe Game Boy is talking a lot, and usually he's pretty quiet. He's packing all his stuff into plastic boxes, but leaving it in his room. He keeps talking about this Japan place. But he talks about Australian girls there. I don't understand. About exchanging.
Is he going to trade Australian girls in Japan? Toe Game Boy might do that. He likes girls. All girls. Especially me.
But he also bought all these new clothes. And they're not old nasty holey clothes. They're pretty clothes. And he smells good. And he got new shoes, but he keeps them in a box so I can't chew the leather.
I love the taste of leather in the morning.
Then there's these two HUGE red bags. Me and Pepper and Sheba and Truffles and Mama could all fit in one of the bags. Toe Game Boy keeps talking about an airport and airplane and laptop.
I got news for him. I've seen his lap and that bag is way bigger than his lap.
Maybe he'll put an Australian girl on his laptop. In Japan. Hmmm.
Maybe it should say "Something is Rotten In Japan". Or something Rotten will be when Toe Game Boy gets there.
Japan.
I just don't get it.
Yet.
Mama is crying all the time, but she's hiding crying. Whenever the Toe Game Boy comes in, she sucks it up and tries to act normal. But if Rar Rar or Daddy or Boy come in, she'll still cry.
Something is Rotten In Denmark.
Toe Game Boy is talking a lot, and usually he's pretty quiet. He's packing all his stuff into plastic boxes, but leaving it in his room. He keeps talking about this Japan place. But he talks about Australian girls there. I don't understand. About exchanging.
Is he going to trade Australian girls in Japan? Toe Game Boy might do that. He likes girls. All girls. Especially me.
But he also bought all these new clothes. And they're not old nasty holey clothes. They're pretty clothes. And he smells good. And he got new shoes, but he keeps them in a box so I can't chew the leather.
I love the taste of leather in the morning.
Then there's these two HUGE red bags. Me and Pepper and Sheba and Truffles and Mama could all fit in one of the bags. Toe Game Boy keeps talking about an airport and airplane and laptop.
I got news for him. I've seen his lap and that bag is way bigger than his lap.
Maybe he'll put an Australian girl on his laptop. In Japan. Hmmm.
Maybe it should say "Something is Rotten In Japan". Or something Rotten will be when Toe Game Boy gets there.
Japan.
I just don't get it.
Yet.
Mwahaha 3/5/08
|
|
comments (0)
|
Mei Mei Makes a Conquest
I knew it was only a matter of time. I kept up the barrage of love, attention, ear cleanings, watching tv over his shoulder, and finally, I have won over The Daddy.
The other day he began moving things on the bed, making a space by moving all Mama's many varied things.
Per the usual, I thought he wanted to wrestle with Mama and I made myself very small so that he would not lock me in the bathroom.
Imagine my surprise, (as well as Mama's) when he was making a space to play with ME.
We played the paw game, then we played Bobo, and this went on and on. We ended with a rousing belly rub. Mine, not his.
Mama watched, thinking Daddy had somehow lost his mind, but instead he ceased to pretend to merely tolerate me as 'just another dog', and we all know now that I am his favorite.
Wait until that bitch Pepper finds out. Terriers have such an attitude to begin with.
I can hardly wait.
I knew it was only a matter of time. I kept up the barrage of love, attention, ear cleanings, watching tv over his shoulder, and finally, I have won over The Daddy.
The other day he began moving things on the bed, making a space by moving all Mama's many varied things.
Per the usual, I thought he wanted to wrestle with Mama and I made myself very small so that he would not lock me in the bathroom.
Imagine my surprise, (as well as Mama's) when he was making a space to play with ME.
We played the paw game, then we played Bobo, and this went on and on. We ended with a rousing belly rub. Mine, not his.
Mama watched, thinking Daddy had somehow lost his mind, but instead he ceased to pretend to merely tolerate me as 'just another dog', and we all know now that I am his favorite.
Wait until that bitch Pepper finds out. Terriers have such an attitude to begin with.
I can hardly wait.
Dr. Costs-A-Lot
|
|
comments (1)
|
Those of you familiar with my column from the Winchester Sun will recognize the characters in this week's blog. For those of you unfamiliar with the situation, I'll give you a little synopsis.
Sheba, our apricot toy poodle, slightly neurotic, has regular visits with a dog psychiatrist. In truth, she *has* been medicated with doggy prozac before, though she wouldn't appreciate my sharing that piece of information so keep it to yourself. No, we don't really take her to a dog psychiatrist...and if we did, I'd be too embarrassed to say so.
Over the years, many of the more memorable columns occurred in the offices of Dr. Costs-A-Lot. You can read some of those if you click here:
www.freewebs.com/othersideofthefence
Then go to Dr. Costs-A-Lot.
As for today, here we go.
************************
We find ourselves in the plush offices of the overpriced pet psychologist, Dr. Costs-A-Lot. Sheba, the apricot toy poodle is winding up for a full blown tizzy fit. MeiMei, the brindle French bulldog, sits and watches with interest.
Dr. C: "Sheba, perhaps you should sit and tell me what has you in such a state."
Sheba: "Seet? Seet? How can Sheba seet? Maman has lost her mind. Sheba ees devastated."
The poodle dramatically threw herself on the sofa, pulling a silk hankie from her pink leopard coat to gesture dramatically.
Dr. C.: "Exactly how has Maman lost her mind this time?" The doctor folded his hands over his ample midsection and waited. He'd put an addition on his house with the income from the number of times Sheba's Maman had supposedly lost her mind. One more loss of Maman's mind and he'd have that inground pool Mrs. Costs-A-Lot had been wanting...
Sheba: "Eet is all HER fault!" An apricot paw clutching a hankie pointed at the French bulldog as though she were an inspector in a crime drama pointing out the murderer in a room full of people.
MeiMei rolled her eyes.
Sheba: "Zee! She does not even deny eet. She has ruined everyzing!"
MeiMei, henceforth to be known as MM, plopped herself in the floor and settled in for a nap.
Sheba: "And she doesn't even care zat she has fractured zee close personal relationship between Sheba and Maman!"
Dr. C.: "Sheba, please be specific. Exactly what has MeiMei done to your relationship with Maman?"
Sheba: "She..." the poodle paused for dramatic effect, "...she sleeps in zee bed with Sheba and Maman." With that proclamation, the poodle began wailing, pausing occasionally to take a breath and to peek to see if the good doctor was catching her performance.
Dr. C.: "Sheba, I hardly think that allowing MeiMei to sleep on the bed with you and Maman is ruining your relationship." He began doodling on his yellow pad.
Sheba: "But zat eez not all!" Sheba sat up and glared at the sleeping MeiMei. "She stands between Sheba and Maman and weel not let Sheba pass. She zinks she has to be between Maman and everyone, even Papa!"
Dr. C.: (chuckling) "I'm sure Papa just loves that."
Sheba: "Bah, he just eegnores her. No one gets between Papa and Maman. Except occasionally Sheba can slip in between zem. But of course, Sheba ees Sheba." The little dog preened.
Dr. C.: "Perhaps you should do like Papa, simply ignore her."
Sheba: "L'idiot! Have vous ever tried to eegnore zee MeiMei?"
Dr. C.: "I'm eeg...um, ignoring her right now."
Sheba: (with a withering look) "She ees eegnoring vous."
Dr. Costs-A-Lot considers the frenchie who opens one black button eye to make eye contact and let him know she is fully aware of the conversation, then closes the eye, appearing to be asleep.
Dr. C.: "Have you discussed this with Maman?"
Sheba: "Mais non! Sheba could not tell Maman zat MeiMei ees usurping her place een zee bed. ALL her places een zee bed."
MeiMei stood and trotted to the door.
Dr. C.: "We'll discuss this again next time. For now, try to get along with MeiMei."
Sheba cut loose with language to make a sailor blush.
MM shrugged at the doctor and trotted out the door.
Sheba, our apricot toy poodle, slightly neurotic, has regular visits with a dog psychiatrist. In truth, she *has* been medicated with doggy prozac before, though she wouldn't appreciate my sharing that piece of information so keep it to yourself. No, we don't really take her to a dog psychiatrist...and if we did, I'd be too embarrassed to say so.
Over the years, many of the more memorable columns occurred in the offices of Dr. Costs-A-Lot. You can read some of those if you click here:
www.freewebs.com/othersideofthefence
Then go to Dr. Costs-A-Lot.
As for today, here we go.
************************
We find ourselves in the plush offices of the overpriced pet psychologist, Dr. Costs-A-Lot. Sheba, the apricot toy poodle is winding up for a full blown tizzy fit. MeiMei, the brindle French bulldog, sits and watches with interest.
Dr. C: "Sheba, perhaps you should sit and tell me what has you in such a state."
Sheba: "Seet? Seet? How can Sheba seet? Maman has lost her mind. Sheba ees devastated."
The poodle dramatically threw herself on the sofa, pulling a silk hankie from her pink leopard coat to gesture dramatically.
Dr. C.: "Exactly how has Maman lost her mind this time?" The doctor folded his hands over his ample midsection and waited. He'd put an addition on his house with the income from the number of times Sheba's Maman had supposedly lost her mind. One more loss of Maman's mind and he'd have that inground pool Mrs. Costs-A-Lot had been wanting...
Sheba: "Eet is all HER fault!" An apricot paw clutching a hankie pointed at the French bulldog as though she were an inspector in a crime drama pointing out the murderer in a room full of people.
MeiMei rolled her eyes.
Sheba: "Zee! She does not even deny eet. She has ruined everyzing!"
MeiMei, henceforth to be known as MM, plopped herself in the floor and settled in for a nap.
Sheba: "And she doesn't even care zat she has fractured zee close personal relationship between Sheba and Maman!"
Dr. C.: "Sheba, please be specific. Exactly what has MeiMei done to your relationship with Maman?"
Sheba: "She..." the poodle paused for dramatic effect, "...she sleeps in zee bed with Sheba and Maman." With that proclamation, the poodle began wailing, pausing occasionally to take a breath and to peek to see if the good doctor was catching her performance.
Dr. C.: "Sheba, I hardly think that allowing MeiMei to sleep on the bed with you and Maman is ruining your relationship." He began doodling on his yellow pad.
Sheba: "But zat eez not all!" Sheba sat up and glared at the sleeping MeiMei. "She stands between Sheba and Maman and weel not let Sheba pass. She zinks she has to be between Maman and everyone, even Papa!"
Dr. C.: (chuckling) "I'm sure Papa just loves that."
Sheba: "Bah, he just eegnores her. No one gets between Papa and Maman. Except occasionally Sheba can slip in between zem. But of course, Sheba ees Sheba." The little dog preened.
Dr. C.: "Perhaps you should do like Papa, simply ignore her."
Sheba: "L'idiot! Have vous ever tried to eegnore zee MeiMei?"
Dr. C.: "I'm eeg...um, ignoring her right now."
Sheba: (with a withering look) "She ees eegnoring vous."
Dr. Costs-A-Lot considers the frenchie who opens one black button eye to make eye contact and let him know she is fully aware of the conversation, then closes the eye, appearing to be asleep.
Dr. C.: "Have you discussed this with Maman?"
Sheba: "Mais non! Sheba could not tell Maman zat MeiMei ees usurping her place een zee bed. ALL her places een zee bed."
MeiMei stood and trotted to the door.
Dr. C.: "We'll discuss this again next time. For now, try to get along with MeiMei."
Sheba cut loose with language to make a sailor blush.
MM shrugged at the doctor and trotted out the door.
Tough Love
|
|
comments (0)
|
In which Mom must learn a lesson.
By MeiMei
We had Company this week. I like Company. Company likes me too.
I like to give kisses and smell new smells and lick faces and nibble earlobes and generally be adorable. Mama beams with pride when I am especially adorable for Company.
I would greet them by sniffing their butts if they weren't always sitting on them. Regardless, Company is fun and I really like to lick their faces and be petted.
HOWEVER, imagine my outrage when My Boy put me in the hall behind a baby gate while Company was here.
I know! I do not know what he was thinking! I immediately told on him.
But Mama did not respond.
I tattled louder. I know she heard me. I heard her and Company remarking on my exceptional vocal abilities. But still, Mama did not allow me in the sitting room with Company.
Unfortunately, this resulted in disciplinary action. It hurt me more than it hurt her.
I left a special package for her in the middle of her bedroom floor.
It broke my heart to do so, especially as it goes against all I normally believe in, but they have to learn. My people have to learn.
They don't call it Tough Love for nothing.
By MeiMei
We had Company this week. I like Company. Company likes me too.
I like to give kisses and smell new smells and lick faces and nibble earlobes and generally be adorable. Mama beams with pride when I am especially adorable for Company.
I would greet them by sniffing their butts if they weren't always sitting on them. Regardless, Company is fun and I really like to lick their faces and be petted.
HOWEVER, imagine my outrage when My Boy put me in the hall behind a baby gate while Company was here.
I know! I do not know what he was thinking! I immediately told on him.
But Mama did not respond.
I tattled louder. I know she heard me. I heard her and Company remarking on my exceptional vocal abilities. But still, Mama did not allow me in the sitting room with Company.
Unfortunately, this resulted in disciplinary action. It hurt me more than it hurt her.
I left a special package for her in the middle of her bedroom floor.
It broke my heart to do so, especially as it goes against all I normally believe in, but they have to learn. My people have to learn.
They don't call it Tough Love for nothing.
I am just throwing my paws up.
|
|
comments (0)
|
MeiMei's Blog:
I just canNot believe it.
First Dad takes Mom out of the house last night and she had a bag. I didn't like that.
But then he came home with The Boy Who Plays The Toe Games.
Toe Game Boy has been gone to someplace called Japan for weeks now.
I thought Dad had picked up Toe Boy and left Mama in the Japan place and I was going to be *really* upset.
So Dad slept in the big bed with me, but I laid on TOP of the pillow instead of underneath it and watched the door for Mom.
Finally the phone rang and Dad left and when he came back, there she was! Back from Japan.
She sure didn't stay long. And she smelled like when she goes to the doctor or something. I guess that's how Japan smells.
I licked all the Japan smells off of her, and tried to make her feel better when she got whiny about her hand hurting from something about having gas I think. Gas in her blood.
Anyway, Mama is home, so I'll be on patrol so that no one tries to take her to Japan overnight again.
I just canNot believe it.
First Dad takes Mom out of the house last night and she had a bag. I didn't like that.
But then he came home with The Boy Who Plays The Toe Games.
Toe Game Boy has been gone to someplace called Japan for weeks now.
I thought Dad had picked up Toe Boy and left Mama in the Japan place and I was going to be *really* upset.
So Dad slept in the big bed with me, but I laid on TOP of the pillow instead of underneath it and watched the door for Mom.
Finally the phone rang and Dad left and when he came back, there she was! Back from Japan.
She sure didn't stay long. And she smelled like when she goes to the doctor or something. I guess that's how Japan smells.
I licked all the Japan smells off of her, and tried to make her feel better when she got whiny about her hand hurting from something about having gas I think. Gas in her blood.
Anyway, Mama is home, so I'll be on patrol so that no one tries to take her to Japan overnight again.
Something is up.
|
|
comments (0)
|
MeiMei's blog:
Something is up. I'm not sure what. But something is definitely up. I can tell by the way they are acting. Mom asked Dad if I was sleeping with him and he said yes.
I don't *think* so. Daddy snores. Besides, I always sleep with my Mama.
But they keep talking about the hospital and sleep apnea tests.
Something is definitely up.
And I have a feeling that I'm not going to like it.
Something is up. I'm not sure what. But something is definitely up. I can tell by the way they are acting. Mom asked Dad if I was sleeping with him and he said yes.
I don't *think* so. Daddy snores. Besides, I always sleep with my Mama.
But they keep talking about the hospital and sleep apnea tests.
Something is definitely up.
And I have a feeling that I'm not going to like it.
Oh the inhumanity of it all!
|
|
comments (0)
|
MeiMei's blog:
I cannot *believe* that they have forced me to such indignity.
FIRST they lure me to the car, knowing that I would think it was time to go to see my Gran and Bud. Then just when I think I'm free and clear, Dad veers sharply off the road and takes me to....
The vet.
Okay, so I *have* been feeling a little itchy, but hey, everyone gets a little itchy sometimes. So I chewed my paws, licked them a lot. Don't you?
And I leaned against things to scratch.
And I rolled over to scratch my back on the carpet.
Hey, I can't *reach* my backside. I have to have humans just to scratch my own butt! Well, just above my tail...a good scratching right there makes me so happy.
So anyway, I ended up with a *shot*. I hate shots.
And I heard them say no more human food. Obviously the vet didn't know who he was talking to. My mama is the biggest pushover on this planet. I got three strawberries out of her just this evening!
And worst of all, I still itch.
I cannot *believe* that they have forced me to such indignity.
FIRST they lure me to the car, knowing that I would think it was time to go to see my Gran and Bud. Then just when I think I'm free and clear, Dad veers sharply off the road and takes me to....
The vet.
Okay, so I *have* been feeling a little itchy, but hey, everyone gets a little itchy sometimes. So I chewed my paws, licked them a lot. Don't you?
And I leaned against things to scratch.
And I rolled over to scratch my back on the carpet.
Hey, I can't *reach* my backside. I have to have humans just to scratch my own butt! Well, just above my tail...a good scratching right there makes me so happy.
So anyway, I ended up with a *shot*. I hate shots.
And I heard them say no more human food. Obviously the vet didn't know who he was talking to. My mama is the biggest pushover on this planet. I got three strawberries out of her just this evening!
And worst of all, I still itch.
View Older Posts »
