Harry Potter and the Herald-Leader 

This article appeared...gosh...in 2004 during the Year of Editorial Commentary.  After spending a year writing in the aforementioned format, I quickly decided that I'd stick with my original niche of humor/spice of life pieces as far as column work went. (There are some nuts out there.)

Nonetheless, here it is, as originally written:

     I’m a heretic.  I didn’t know it until I heard it on television.

     Imagine my surprise, particularly since I’d just returned home from church, kicked off my shoes, and turned on one of the interminable TV news chat shows.

     What horrible transgression did I commit?

     I allowed my children to read the Harry Potter books. 

In fact, thinking myself a responsible parent, I read them myself, prior to handing them over to my children.

     What was I thinking?

     How can I ever show my face among decent people again?

     It seems that I cannot, if one believes the self- proclaimed Christian Right Spokespeople, railing against the evil being inflicted upon the children of the world by J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series.

     I didn’t realize, you see, that there are actually children out there who might believe it possible to fly to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft in a magic car. 

     I recognized the mythical school and its inhabitants for the fantasy that they are.

     My children recognized them for the fantasy that they are.

But there are those who profess to speak for every fundamentalist Christian in the world, including myself, who don’t believe that Ms. Rowling’s books are mere fantasies, spun for the enjoyment of children.

     Instead, they believe that Ms. Rowling is attempting to introduce the children of the world to witchcraft and sorcery.

     That is their right.

     They may complain, gripe, scream, rail, and object in any manner they wish, against any subject they wish.  This is America.  Not only is that their right, as parents, that is their responsibility.

     Don’t dare, however, profess to speak for me.

     The same goes for those internet web page writers who are resigning me to hell for daring to allow my boys to play with Poke’mon toys.

     Objections have been raised to the Poke’mon phenomenon because the makers of Poke’mon also make a card game that is purportedly big with those who dabble in the occult. 

     Sorry.  That doesn’t wash here either.

     I personally hate Poke’mon.  I’d like to grab Pikachu by his furry little throat and squeeze all the Poke’-stuffing right out of him. In all honesty, though, that’s largely because his whiny little voice stomps on my last nerve, not because I think an interest in Poke’mon will have my six-year-old asking Santa for Dungeons and Dragons for Christmas.

     I confiscated my ten-year-old son’s Poke’mon cards, not because I thought he was flirting with the demonic, but instead because he and his best friend had their first heated argument over the trading of the cards.  I informed him that his friendship was far more important than whether or not he made a trade for a Charizard card.

Lest you think this bickering over trading cards is a new problem among children, be assured that it is not.  My husband informs me that he and his friends squabbled in a similar manner over baseball cards when he was a child. His cards were confiscated as well.

     Responsible parents make informed choices for their children.  Every individual has the right and the responsibility to object when they feel a toy, book, movie, television program, computer game, or anything else is harmful to his or her own child. 

     Irresponsibility takes root where parents exert no control at all.

However, an individual with a personal agenda--political, religious, or otherwise--may gain a national audience by professing to speak for large numbers of people with similar interests.  Claiming the sky is falling does not necessarily make it so.

     Do not make the mistake of thinking that just because someone claims subversion is the intent of a children’s book with a warlock for a hero that anyone who allows their children to read that book is a Satan-loving demon of a parent.

     Do not assume that simply because someone posts a diatribe against Poke’mon on the internet that all those whose children play the game cannot possibly have Christian or other religious beliefs.

     God and Poke’mon may not have a great deal in common, but neither are they mutually exclusive.  If I’m wrong on this issue, it’s a matter on which I feel certain God will correct me one day.  The job is His, not the job of an attention grabbing spokesperson with a personal agenda to promote.

     Patricia Ireland does not speak for me as a woman.

     Jerry Falwell does not speak for me as a Christian.

     Bill Clinton does not speak for me as an American citizen.

     I speak for myself.

     Heresy and all.