June 1, 2008
As you can see, it's been a while since I've entered here, and not because nothing has gone on with Oldest Son In Japan.
It's taken a month for me to get used to him being gone to the point that writing about it doesn't stress me terribly.
You see, my son, for the first time, is out of pocket. I can't reach him at any moment, day or night. Sometimes I don't hear from him for a day or two and I've had to 'let go' and let it happen.
On the positive side, just this weekend, he went on a field trip someplace and on traditional Japanese paper, learned to make a hanging scroll with his name on it. Then he went to a track and field tourney and said he had a blast.
Of course last weekend, he and Jon the Brit went to the train station...the hub of activity in Japanese towns, to "nanpo" or pick up girls. They ended up holding signs that offerred free hugs and a Japanese street performer with a guitar came up and stood between them and played "Imagine" and sang.
Ah, that's my boy. And even though the Japanese are very reserved, they did give away over 30 hugs between them. Even an old man went up to Jon and told him to go ahead and "do it". LOL
Then a girl came up to Steven and asked him if he were a Christian. Steven said yes and she evidently made some reference to seeing his cross and she gave him a bookmark with a pressed flower in it. She was a Christian too. The thing was, Steven and Jon realized that he didn't have his cross necklace on, nor did he have on a t-shirt with Christian logo. How did she know?
God knows.
May 9, 2008
Ah yesterday was fabulous. I spent the entire morning talking to, via the internet, and looking at Oldest Son on the webcam. He's been there a month.
I felt so good and was so pleased. Cried a little. His face looks thinner but his body is thicker, more filled out. I suspect this is the dramatic change in diet.
I watched this child bring in his laundry from where it was hanging on his balcony (the dryer took 200yen and still didn't get his clothes dry so he said 'forget this'), fold it, put it away, go get another load out of the wash and hang it out to dry. Something about that made me proud.
When I was healthy, I was determined my boys would know how to do laundry, clean, and cook. Little did I know that they would be good at those things through necessity by the time they were grown.
He folded his clothes expertly, with practiced movements and there was something poignant in that for me.
We talked and I told him to do his stuff, I was happy just to *see* him. He did his homework. It was so good to watch his facial expressions again as he worked.
Of course later, when talking to his father I found that he just had a rare moment with nothing to do so he 'threw Mom a bone' and talked to her.
But even Husband teared up at the sight of his son after all these weeks.
I do not know how parents stood it during WWI and II when they'd go months, even years without hearing.
Suddenly all this dependence on technology seems like a very good thing.
Oldest son has twice gone two and three years respectively between visits to the doctor. He just is fortunate that way, like my father was when he was young.
Less than three weeks after arriving in Japan, however, he ends up in the ER.
You see, it had something to do with a Pirate Club BBQ and stepping on a rock wrong.
His foot swelled up and he had done all the right things by the time I heard about it. He'd iced it and taken ibuprofen.
Fortunately, his "landlady" was in the laundry room when he was doing his laundry and yelped when he took a misstep. She inquired about it and when she saw the difference in the size between his ankles, she threw a fit and insisted he go to the ER.
Oldest Son informs me that you do *not* argue with little old japanese women.
He was going to bicycle there, as that is his only means of transportation, and she said, "No No! I will pick you up at 2 pm." And she did.
He's done something to the tendon. They gave him patches of some sort...not lidocaine, as he knows what that is, and anti-inflammatories and charged him 30 dollars. Can you believe it? A trip the the ER, 2 meds, 30 dollars????? I was astonished.
I would take a moment here to tease Oldest Son about being clumsy, but on the same day, I fell out of the bed reaching for a bag of medicine onto a pile of medical equipment and am now black and blue.
I suppose we know where he gets it....
On April 10, 2008, my oldest son left to study abroad in Japan for a year.
The time leading up to his leaving has been among the most difficult times of my life.
Sparing you the details of catastrophizing, sobbing spells behind his back, the attempts to put on a brave and encouraging face, we'll begin now that he has arrived and all is well.
Or at least it was the last I heard.
He is on the first floor of the International Students dormitory. This is good because in case of fire, he could easily escape. Note to self: Ask if there is a smoke alarm in his room.
He informs us that there are two "speeds" on flushing the toilet. Regular, which is slightly less powerful than a flush at home, and ookii flush, which he described as Niagara falls in a toilet bowl.
Adventures in the bathroom seem to be a theme as he forgot to pack a towel. Fortunately Mrs. Ueya-sensei came to the rescue with lunch on dishes to return and a towel. He had no hangars either, so a trip to the Japanese equivalent of Walmart is going to be forthcoming. They did have bedding which he described as clean and warm.
Anyway, he could not get the water in the shower to warm up. So cold it had ice in it, he said. He described it as cold enough that he broke a leg right off.
The German guy next door showed him that the thermostat for the shower is on a dial outside the bathroom. Go figure.
Today he was invited by one of the Chinese students to a get together that the current Chinese students were throwing for the incoming ones. He went and enjoyed himself. He said they went to a karaoke bar and he actually sang. LOL.
I would have loved to have seen that.
The prettiest girl he's seen is Chinese so far, he said...of course this would be high on his priority list.
He said that aside from the Brit and the Australians, everyone else had Japanese as their common language in the international dorm. I think that's so neat.
He's met people from Nepal, Malaysia, France, Germany and China.
While it has been a difficult week, now that he is there, I see how this can be an adventure for our whole family. But mostly, it's going to be an adventure for my oldest son. That's what counts because it's what he needs. Life challenges to achieve.
Don't we all?
April 13, 2008
And the adventure continues! Son says the Australians woke him up at noon and they biked to a train station where they rode for four stops to see the cherry blossoms in bloom. How beautiful that must be! Then they went to a winery and had lunch.
Afterwards he met with Taro who is his campus life mentor as opposed to Ueya-sensei, his studies/university mentor. Taro took him to a bath house.
I shudder to think of this. The bacteria in such a place makes me literally sick. Steven said you face a wall and wash all over, then you get in a tub and soak. I can only think of the germs in the tub if the water is not chlorinated properly.
But then, having very little immune system, I tend to be germaphobic.
Then they went to dinner at a sushi restaurant. Steven said a little conveyor belt went by in front of him and you took a plate which cost about a dollar if you wanted that particular thing.
Steven said Taro had 10 plates, Yuuseke, Taro's friend had 15, but Steven, the tightwad, only had 6. He said he'd already spent 12 dollars on lunch at the winery and he wasn't spending any more.
I had to laugh. I'm forever reminding his sister NOT to spend money, and having to remind Steven that it's okay to splurge occasionally.
He was able to get shampoo, a bath towel, toothbrush (he'd dropped his in the toilet that morning. The bathroom makes a cruise ship bathroom look positively spacious.
This evening, a movie with a pretty Chinese student with whom his common language is Japanese, so that should be fun to hear about. He's met 30 or 40 Chinese students, has a German fellow next door, met the French fellow, whom he described as "cool, not the ass I expected", today, and more.
Tomorrow is his first day of class and he is to meet Ueya-sensei at 9 am.
Did I mention that he forgot to pack an alarm clock?
April 17, 2008
The adventures continue in Japan as Steven described eating a "smelly" breakfast of salmon and strawberry jam on toast. (shudder)
The gaijin eat together he says, that would be him, the brits, aussies, Sven the German physics major, and the french guy who looks like Orlando Bloom with black hair. I saw a picture, he really does.
He has had a natto omelette, which was almost too much, as I understand. I had to ask my brother, who has travelled extensively in Japan what natto was....fermented soybean paste. Again I say *shudder*.
But as Steven was eating with his campus life mentor, he ate it. Cleo, one of the pretty Chinese girls fixed his dinner one night and he said he didn't have a clue what it was, but he ate it. So my formerly picky son is really stretching his palate.
He's been incredibly busy, which pleases me.
Interestingly, I caught what I thought was a hint of maybe homesickness this morning, and I felt just *awful*. The thought of him being over there lonely or homesick made *me* sick at heart. I find that *I* am much happier having him busy and having adventures and a good time.
I remember taking one of the kids somewhere for the first time...church, preschool, I can't remember exactly. They went in without even looking back and I remember getting my feelings hurt that they didn't even miss me. I also had one who clung to me and wailed until I got out of eyesight and then was fine. Ahem, daughter.
But this time, this trip I'd dreaded, now that he's there, busy, having fun, learning all kinds of new stuff, I find that I am very happy to have him satisfied to be where he is. It's far better than thinking of him halfway around the world missing me.
I guess I've done some growing, too.