March 26, 2008
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I write this only because I know Oldest Son doesn't bother with checking the website therefore I can express what so many women my age are feeling.
Empty nest.
Word has come down from on high. He should leave for Japan within the next two weeks. He is in List Mode.
I am in "Head In Sand" mode.
Of course, I've been in "Head In Sand" mode ever since it became evident that he was really leaving.
Today I just lifted my head enough to hear the news, then sunk it deeper in the sand.
March 18, 2008
And the reality show junkie continues on her trek to watch both American Idol and Dancing With The Stars at the same time.
I have to say, that little girl from Hairspray...the one who was all hair and backside and boobs, just absolutely made my evening. What a doll and what a dancer. I *dream* of having that kind of energy, that kind of talent and fun to dance. She was precious and will definitely be getting more than one vote online from this girl.
Steve saw part of the male dancers last night...the basketball player was really incredibly good I thought(basketball?).
But putting it up against Americal Idol is just cruel to those of us with dreams of dancing or singing but never standing a chance of carrying a tune or, well, standing long enough to dance. lol.
On a little postscript, since I outed him about his AI enjoyment, Husband has purposefully gone to bed early. Sorry honey.
(I wonder if he knows about YouTube?)
March 14, 2008
So we're going to Walmart and I, knowing that an opportunity to buy some material exists, decided to tag along.
I managed to get dressed. I was slipping on shoes when Husband says "Oh, by the way, it's raining."
????
Well, I was dressed by then. By golly, I was going to the Walmart.
When Husband said "raining", I rather expected that he meant drizzling, or sprinkling or some such.
No.
He meant raining.
I bravely tucked my feet deep in my shoes and said, "Shall we see how fast Mom can make it to the car?"
(This is funny if you know us because usually, I have to have help getting to and from the car.)
Husband, comedian that he is, mimics my mother, "Run between the raindrops".
Snort.
But then, oh then, heredity came around to bite me in the arse.
Younger Son says, "Mom! Run like you have to go pee".
Smart arse.
March 13, 2008
*heavy sigh*
Husband is working late and I feel quite at odds with myself.
Yes, the boys are home, doing BOY things. At least they weren't ones for bringing reptiles or amphibians into the house. Of course, we had enough dogs most of the time that pets weren't an issue. And there was that threat...
But feeling kinda empty here, as though part of me is missing, I don't like it.
I think of friends who have recently lost a spouse, are about to lose one, or had one up and leave. How do they go through empty houses at night?
I remember when Husband's grandparents used to come and visit. Lordy I love(d) those two. Unfortunately (or fortunately on his part, because he's with the Lord now), Papaw has passed on. But these two were a hoot, and didn't really necessarily intend to be. We were young, newly married, and now I see us turning into them! Husband makes the same grunting noise as Papaw, anyway.
But I remember that if I had to go out for the day, I would come in and be welcomed like a queen. Mamaw would say, "A house feels empty with the woman of the house gone."
My mom was gone to Hawaii for two weeks, and though I emailed with Dad regularly (he lives 5 minutes from my house, but rarely comes over. He's a homebody who prefers to issue royal summons and we all come pile in his proverbial lap on his throne), life was empty with Mom gone. We emailed every day just like we do almost every day when she is home. I think it is because we are writers by nature and it's easy to pop down a message. But I didn't like her being gone and home (their home) wasn't quite home without her.
I was really sad when Mom was gone and when Mom and Dad BOTH cruise, I don't go to their house. The thought of that empty house...I don't think so.
When I was younger and Daddy travelled Mon-Fri every week, I cannot imagine how my mother managed. How did she raise three kids, have a slipped disc, go to school, get a master's while working....amazing.
But she had to be lonely.
Or maybe she was too tired to be lonely.
And Daddy. In a different hotel room every night. My gosh.
Praise the Lord both are able to travel some now and enjoy the fruits of their labors. I wish them both many, many more healthy years.
When I started this post, I had a point.
I was feeling whiny, which I hate. I'll allow a few minutes of whining over pain, but whining in general gets on my nerves and doubly so when I'm the one doing the whining.
Oh yes. Husband is working very, very late on a project that doesn't go out until noon tomorrow and I wouldn't be surprised, given how far away his work is, if he just stayed there and came home when it went out. Poor fellow.
But I miss him terribly.
Sometimes we only have 1 or 2 good waking hours each day together. Sometimes I sleep through them. Sometimes he works through them. But I cherish that time. It's not until it is taken away that I realize it.
How do people who have no relationship with God manage?
I may be lonely, but I know I'm never *alone*.
Therein lies the blessing.
March 11, 2008
I HATE IT when I type a whole post and then lose it.
Now I'm going to go grumble.